The most fabulous movie we've never seen.
We found these stills at Wetcircuit, and were immediately stunned by the fact that we had never even heard of this film, which appears to be all kinds of faboo. Based on the images, we've pieced together the plot as best we can.
A young girl, perhaps a princess, quietly weeps. She knows that even if she does actually meet John Stamos, by then he will be middle-aged and kind of skeevy.
Meanwhile, an evil Bea Arthur, her silver tresses plated gold, is determined to somehow get Rue McClanahan in this movie. Even if it means destroying the little girl.
In another kingdom, a handsome young prince tries to convince people that he's not gay, by firmly grasping a fish. Unfortunately, the fish is more than a bit phallic.
Gandalf, or perhaps Dumbledore, saves the queen and her ladies-in-waiting from a flying octopus. They reward him with drink tickets for The Manhole.
The handsome prince's erection takes the form of a giant seahorse, and demands relief.
In Gethsemane, Jesus wept.
Somehow, all's well that ends well, and the moral of the story is that three drag queens are better than one. But you knew that already!Fini
5 comments:
I do think MST3K got a hold of this one. Or should have.
elcynic hit the nail on the head. It's called The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, and it's a cheesefest of a movie that MST3K ripped to shreds.
And here I thought I was the only one who ever suffered through this; take it on faith, Thom, your version is infinitely better than the original.
If memory serves, it was a Russian movies of the 60s, based on some folkloric story, repackaged - badly - as a Sinbad story for international release.
The presiding tedium is so intense that it's almost impossible to appreciate the visuals, which look far more alluring in stills. But don't we all?
As kids we had this:
http://uk.geocities.com/singringtree/1storylongcolor.html
(OpenID just lost my wittier and longer comment, I'm afraid.)
That explains a lot, John!
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